Love on the Move: Making Your Marriage work During a Relocation

Relocating can be both exciting and challenging for the entire family. While one partner may be adjusting to a new job and new opportunities, the other may feel overwhelmed and lonely in an unfamiliar place. Research suggests that the failure rate of relocations is close to 50 percent, often resulting from personal and family dissatisfaction. However, with mindful planning and communication, you can navigate this transition together and strengthen your relationship.

Before you embark on this journey, take time to address the uncertainty that comes with it. To reduce stress and ensure a smoother transition, engage in open discussions about the following questions:

  • What are the benefits of making this move?
  • What is the quality of life like in the new location?
  • Will there be career opportunities for the partner?
  • What might we be losing or missing due to this move, and what strategies can we use to handle it?
  • What are we most concerned about?
  • What timeframe should we give this relocation, and how will we measure its success?
  • What happens if one of us is unhappy about this transition after an agreed-upon timeframe? By addressing these questions together, you can lay a strong foundation for your relocation journey and ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page throughout the process.

Here are some useful ideas to help your marriage not only survive but thrive during this relocation journey:

  1. Understanding the role each partner will play in the relocation process and after. It’s essential to define the roles each partner will undertake throughout the relocation and beyond. A helpful way to manage tasks is by using a spreadsheet to list everything that needs to be done before and after the move. By having a shared list with assigned responsibilities, you can avoid misunderstandings and confusion.
  2. Recognizing that the transition phase may be difficult. Moving to a new place can be challenging and stressful for everyone involved. It’s crucial to be patient and give all family members time to adjust. Realize that adjusting to the move typically takes about a year, so keeping expectations realistic is important.
  3. Address the Emotional Aspect: Apart from the logistical challenges, relocating comes with a significant emotional component. Take time to talk about your feelings and fears openly. Share your concerns and needs with each other and work collaboratively to find strategies to cope with the emotional stress. If necessary, seek professional support to prevent negative emotions from building up into resentment and anger.
  4. Explore and Enjoy Your New Location: Amidst the chaos of settling in, make sure to find time to explore and enjoy your new surroundings together. Take breaks from endless errands and home improvement tasks to discover the local attractions, go hiking, or attend local events. Prioritize self-care and bonding during this transition.

Relocating is undeniably stressful, but with open communication, careful planning, and mutual support, your marriage can not only survive the move but also grow stronger. Embrace this opportunity for growth, and remember that working together as a team will help you overcome the challenges and make the most of this new chapter in your lives.